Twisted American Friends
I've had so many emails from lovely people in the USA wanting to know about living in New Zealand, that I've set up a forum for our American Friends at Twisted so that the Twisties can help answer questions. There's talk of a draft now coming in next year and people are being put onto no-fly lists. I know I'd be scared. I'm glad I escaped the UK.

Catch Chelfyn in the mix in December
I've had a few emails and MSNs wanting to know when Chelfyn is playing out again. Well we're prising him out of the TMet studios for the Angelcare fundraiser from the Nitro crew at Cube (Auckland) on December 11th, then the first leg of the Fragile Xmas NZ tour at Monkeyfeather (Hamilton) on December 17th, before we fly down to the South Island for The Full Circle New Year's Eve party which I am very much looking forward to.

N20/Nitro Productions are putting on another fundraiser for 0800 ANGELCARE on December 11th 2004 at Cube (5 High Street, Auckland). Join DJs Hardstyle Terror Crew, Justin Sane, Taz, Kyle Donegan, Chelfyn, Seb DaRush, Matt Camp, Javed Haider + more. Angelcare is a charitable trust that provides trained 'Angels' to deal discreetly with overheating, dehydration & other alcohol / drug related issues at dance parties.

Fragile comes to Hamilton!! Hot on the heels of Fragile's opening night in November with Technikal (UK) & ReBirth/PHATT (NAM) at Blend and ahead of the Australian tour in Brisbane next year - Chelfyn is joining the Justin Sane & Taz the Fragile boys on the first stop of their NZ tour. Join them on December 17th @ Monkeyfeather in Hamilton.

Chelfyn is delighted to be one of the headline acts at The Full Circle for New Year's Eve. The Full Circle has gathered more than 70 of New Zealand’s funkiest and freshest DJs, VJs & Live acts, to bring you 4 zones and 48 hours of non-stop excitement and delightment at one of the most stunning sites in the world

So catch him if you can, as after the new year we're heading back into the studios to work on qoob our live act.

Mental Illness 2 : Back in the Community


TMet Recordings has just put their first CD release up for sale: 'Mental Illness 2 : Back in the Community' from the Data:Bass crew.

"This summer laugh again with all your friends from Auckland's's kookiest bunch of underground electronica misfits, as Mental Illness heads back into the community for more adventures that'll have you grabbing for your medication!

Laugh as breaksmeisters Demus, Jamie Newman, Audioslut, Dialator and Million from State of Mind leave you in therapy with their side splitting antics. Cry as Downbeat dalliances from Further & Haze, Tumor, Dr_Lovelazy and dub dealing deliveries from Atomik, RFG, General Practitioner and Azuki, drench the soul with melodious pathos. Be thrilled by the drama of Downlow, Jen-I, Em:U, and Acid Reign.and be flabbergasted as Fats White, Style Over Substance, Black Pantha, Catguts & The Big Bang Theory and Bad Habits give unforgettable performances that will make small children weep with joy.

That's right, dose up on an all-star cast of 22 artists performing 27 tunes over 80 action-packed minutes of hair raising hilarity and eclectronic eccentricity that will leave you seeking professional help!

Mental Illness . . . is . . .

Back in the Community!"

Mental Illness II has already received a glowing review in NZ Musician Magazine:

"Whilst data:bass takes care of the drum'n bass underground in Auckland with it's DJ Collective, club nights and music releases, Mental Illness offers both the drum'n bass heads and the left-of- centre local electronic composer an outlet for more experimental forays.

This is the second major compilation and offers everything from hip-hop, chilled lounge, dubby steppers, blunted beats, electro tech, trance twistedness, to a bit of drill'n bass. The range of artists and styles represented is vast but by no means disparate or jarring. Essentially the living, breathing definition of "sampler" in all it's true marvellous multifariousness- it's great to hear so much creativity out there. You'd do well to check out the likes of Dialator, Audioslut, Jamie Newman, The Downlow, Doctor Lovelazy, Atomik, Further, Emu and others now or in the near future. The underground is alive and well!"

Buy the Mental Illness II (CD) at the TMet shop, only NZ$20 (with FREE P&P in NZ).

Justin Sane & Taz - Break Australia
Oh well - I suppose we'd better start saving to see Justin Sane and Taz soon. They are off to put on a Fragile in Brisbane on the 19th February - the first leg of their overseas onslaught. Watch out for these boys...If like me you can't make it to Brisbane that weekend then head on down to Nitro Angelcare Fundraiser @ Cube on the 11th December, or the Fragile Xmas Tour @ Monkey Feather on the 17th. You'll also get to see Chelfyn play.

More Kiwi music collectives take the indie approach
"Welcome to the SOUNDWORKER website, we are based in Auckland, New Zealand. The SOUNDWORKER album 'Unknown Variable 'is presented below along with mp3s of some of the tracks"

Cool. Another Kiwi Collective self publishing New Zealand music. TMet Recordings my own indie Kiwi dance download label is coming up to its 1st birthday on Wednesday!

Alcohol Without Liquid
"The new method is known as AWOL, an acronym for “Alcohol With Out Liquid”, and is a hit in the global club scene due to the euphoric “high” created when alcohol is vaporized, mixed with oxygen and inhaled."

I wonder if you still get hangovers?

Barefoot Breakfast
I love my job. I get to meet and speak to people I really like and admire. Like the Barefoot Doctor who I got to chat on this morning's Resurrection Breakfast show.

I first came across the Barefoot Doctor when I was feeling pretty down. It was just after I had to close my herbal high company thanks to the British Government. I went to Hay-on-Wye, a gorgeous little town on the borders of Wales that's full of second hand bookshops. As I was browsing the shelves, a book literally fell out of the bookcase and into my hands: 'Barefoot Doctor's Handbook for the Urban Warrior - A Spiritual Survival Guide'. I read it, and then went straight out and bought it for all my friends. I also have his 'Handbook for Heroes a Spiritual Guide to Fame and Fortune'

I didn't realise until today that La Quisha our very own Twisted Diva is also a fan.:

"I read "Barefoot Doctor's Handbook for the Urban Warrior (A Spiritual Survival Guide)" last year and started practicing some of the techniques, I especially liked anything that involved visualisation - being a visual kind of a girl. For better or for worse I visualised my life as a superstar Drag Queen (the Tao moves in mysterious ways).A year later and I have had a small television appearance, made some designer t-shirts, been to some great parties, and am on a one Queen quest on the web.So, my story is either a good example (or a terrible warning) of the power of the Tao and all those cool visualisation exercises. Next thing I knew I was a Superstar Drag Queen! What a crazy, crazy trip. Actually, I'm more of a Glamorous Fem-Dyke Earth Mother Drag Queen, but who's counting."

If you missed our chat this morning The Barefoot Doc has very kindly agreed to come back for some regular Twisted Guru Sessions. Watch this space!

Barefoot Doctor for Breakfast on Twisted Radio
Special guest the Barefoot Doctor will be joining us from the UK on tomorrow's Resurrection Breakfast show on Twisted radio. An alternative health and spirituality expert, Barefoot Doctor is a columnist for the UK's Observer, a regular guest on London Live radio, was regularly on Channel 4's The Big Breakfast and had a Barefoot Doctor series on on UK TV.



He is also author of a number of cult classics including 'Barefoot Doctor's Handbook for the Urban Warrior, A Spiritual Survival Guide', 'Return of the Urban Warrior', 'Handbook for Heroes - A Spiritual Guide to Fame and Fortune', 'Handbook for Modern Lovers: A Spiritual Guide to Truly Rude and Amazing Love and Sex' and his new book 'Instant Enlightenment - 108 Blessings.'

He'll be joining Mistress Dirtbag and myself at 8.30 a.m. on Friday 25th November for a live chat. Listen in on Auckland 107.7 or the online stream. If you'd like to ask the Doc any questions then post them here or join us by adding studio@twisted.co.nz to your MSN list.

For more info on the Barefoot Doctor visit:

'Active Swarm' of Aftershocks expected in South Island
"South Island residents can expect a swarm of strong aftershocks over the next two to four days, Dunedin-based GNS geologist Simon Cox said. An earthquake measuring 7.2 on the Richter scale struck off the coast of the South Island today."

So the earth really did move in Southland earlier. Apparently the shocks were felt as far north as Hamilton.It's kind of spooky considering my last post.You can check out the Earthquake report at Geonet who ask:

"Did you feel this earthquake? We would appreciate it if you could fill out a GeoNet Felt Earthquake Report and let us know of your experiences."

The only time I have ever felt an earthquake was at 6th form college in Hereford in the late 80s. I was walking up the stairs wearing my 'so ripped they were almost rags' pair of 501s that I'd been banned from wearing on campus. The principal was behind me and just as he was about to tell me off the earth moved and we fell onto each other. As he clutched me in shock my jeans fell off. Luckily I was wearing cycle shorts a la Bros.

Dino - the volcanic Kiwi superstar
Six months after I first blogged about him, Dino the White Island Dinosaur is still stuck fast to the Geonet webcam. Lets hope he survives any volcanic activity. White Island is currently at alert level 1: 'Signs of volcano unrest.'

Celtic New Zealand
"New Zealand is covered in remnant structures left behind by a stone working culture. This pre-Maori civilisation built canal systems, thousands of sculptured hills, wetlands agricultural systems composed of laboriously dug drains, beehive house villages, an extensive network of overland walkways, a system of very visible cairn hump or tor mound markers on the crests of low hill ranges. They constructed multiple standing stone circles for astronomy in locations where the distant regional terrain gave clearly defined views onto solstice or equinox sunrises and sunsets or more sophisticated fixes onto star and constellation ascents or descents."

You can find more interesting links at Ancient Celtic New Zealand

Things I've learned from my Children
From an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:

1. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house about 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it with roller skates / blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room.
5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a ball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain bits of Lego will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jelly.
15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving and very expensive to remove.
18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The average response time for the fire brigade is about 20 minutes.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid.

Biz Behaviour
I am getting popular all of a sudden. Ever since Bizgirl won top blog and came out at the NetGuide awards as Bizmanwithtwokids, I've had readers mailing to ask me if I'm real.

This is a question which has been posed before. The boys at the netcafe I used to work at swore I was a hologram running off one of the servers. However you can hear me on the Twisted airwaves every Friday between 5 and 7 p.m. (Kiwi time) and on the Resurrection Breakfasts usually some time after 9 am. So you'll have to tune in if you don't believe me!

Download vending machines on the way
"The first music vending machines that will allow people to buy and download songs in the street, at railway stations or in the pub are to be unveiled this week. The kiosks, which transfer tracks to a mobile phone or personal music player for about £1, could make the music downloading phenomenon available to the majority of people for the first time. The first will be switched on in two London railway stations – Waterloo and King's Cross – next month. Others will appear in high-street shops, service stations and pubs next year."

This is so touching. Sorry Everybody is pages and pages of picture message of apologies from our American friends. The flipside is kind of scary. In We're Not Sorry most of them are holding guns.

I've had a few comments and emails this week from American readers asking me how they would be received if they came to New Zealand to live:

"I just wanted to ask you if americans were generally welcome in New Zealand. I don't mean officially, I mean, are they welcomed by the people?

It seems they would have every reason not to, but our imperial stance is precisely the reason why this bleeding heart wants to leave.. New Zealand seems like a beautiful place from everything I've read, but I thought I'd try to get a feeling from some individuals there. Thanks a lot! :)"

My reply was:

Americans are very welcome in New Zealand if they have an attitude like yours, and Auckland is a really lovely place to live. Generally the ones that make it this far (and have passports) are pretty cool.

New Zealand is currently running at almost full employment and have just lowered the points system to encourage more applications. Also it's a great place to be a creative as there is a thriving arts scene here. Being a small economy you won't earn much money, but the people/place/lifestyle etc. more than make up for it.

Feel free to mail me (msb@tmet.co.nz) with any more questions. I'm always happy to help being a UK escapee myself.

Best wishes,

MsB

I wonder how long it will be before the brain drain starts. I think New Zealand is about to get an influx of amazing creative people.

The Boobs of Fragile
For those of you missed Kell's wall sized bouncing boobies at the Fragile gig - TMet Media are delighted to bring you this...



Fragile - 2 internationals, 6 locals, live Kiwi dance act & cracking tits.

The Full Circle - New Year’s Eve Dance Party
31st December – 2nd January 2005
@ Cobb Valley, Takaka, near Golden Bay

The Full Circle has gathered more than 70 of New Zealand’s funkiest and freshest DJs, VJs & Live acts, to bring you 4 zones and 48 hours of non-stop excitement and delightment at one of the most stunning sites in the world.

With LIVE PSY from Antix, COSM, and Ozone, plus a DJ line-up featuring Mr Oz (Tribal Gathering), Chelfyn (TMet Recordings), Helix (Wonderland), Justin Sane (Tidy NZ) and the cream of the NZ dance music scene.

Two days and nights of the finest Psy, Trance, House, Breaks, Hard Dance, Dub and Downbeat in New Zealand, set in a lush valley with sparkling river, and surrounded by bush clad hills. Onsite camping, no alcohol, just a great vibe.

Tickets are $120 (1st 500 @ $80) and are available from The Hemp Store (Auckland), Cosmic Corner (Wellington, Christchurch, Dunedin), Invisible (Takaka), Gizmos (Nelson) and Flurmo (Motueka). For more information visit: http://www.thefullcircle.co.nz




Chelfyn is developing multiple DJ personalities. Now he's cropping up on flyers as Chelfyn and Psychelfyn. He was booked (by the wonderfully named Dawn Beaver) for his first Psychelfyn gig the day after he uploaded his new Astral Raveling mix. I can't wait to fly down to the South Island to see in the New Year at The Full Circle. I'm so excited!

The Fast Chicken Likes Kiwi Tunes
It's always great to find glowing reviews of tracks from your label. Want to support new Kiwi music? The rock on over to TMet Recordings and buy some online.

	"Ryan Tregurtha - I Have a Dream. Liberal use of the Martin Luther King Jr speech, and with a driving, hard trance backing. Without the speech, it would be a good track. With the speech - which is quite quiet - its VERY good. Would fit into a Tidy, Nuklez etc mix without anyone even noticing, and would get a full house of 'hands in the air' if played by the like of Lisa Lashes. DAMN GOOD. 9/10 on the 'going hard out at the gym' scale :)
	Mr Sketchy and My Steady - Zulu Nation. Nice piece of Psytrance (well, IMO) - sounds somewhat Astral Projection-like, which is a good thing.
	Chelfyn - The Evil Plans of George W Bush III (radio edit). I had this previously, from a few years ago when they first released it, but with the recent events, its rather relevant :). Good track, tho kinda 'light' after the driving sound of 'I Have a Dream'. Still a favourite track, tho, with a good sense of humour.
	Waterboy - One Ring. Uplifting trance track, with liberal samples from Lord of the Rings (wow, surprise!). Works really well.
	Echo - I Hear You're Leaving. This is the track I went to TMET for (cheers to the Mistress). Its a nice, mellow, cafe-style track. Would go down well at about 2pm after a hard night out.... Shades of Rhian Sheehan and Epsilon Blue.

All of those above are in the order of 'Banging full on' to 'mellow cafe', tho the drop between Waterboy and Echo is a little much to have them in the same playlist :).

Overall, I'd rate all of them 4/5 to 5/5. Nice!"

Concord Porn
Via Dodgy Sam on Twisted: "An unnamed D&B duo...*coughconcordedawncough* was approached by a small german adult entertainment company to use a certain track as backing music for a soon to be released movie. After much deliberation and chit chat the duo said yes but only if they could use parts of the vid as a music video to be screened here in NZ...a Yes was struck so all was well... UNTIL the movie was eventually finished and sent to said duo for their use.

The problem with the video was that it was a hardcore mens anal fisting video...(oh dear) The duo are unsure how to approach C4 with their newest music video."

A Makeover for the Mistress
This is what happens when people hang out with me for too long. They tend to get Fudged Up. I took Mistress Dirtbag to see the lovely Debbie at Hair Division (09 826 0099) for a crop and a colour. Now she is sporting a Cherry Bomb flaming crop just in time for Bonfire night. There's nothing better than getting Fudged up at the weekend!

Arms up and jiggle
I directed my first pair of boobs yesterday. They were attached to the delightful Kells who very kindly bounced bra-less for us in a Fragile top, which we filmed to make visuals for tomorrow's Fragile gig at Blend. I found that the best motion can be coaxed out of a C cup with arms in the air. It provides a 360 degree rotation with an interesting sideways motion that is truly mesmerising. If you want to see The Breasts of Fragile in action then you'll have to come along tomorrow night for our VJ show :)



Technikal and Rebirth are coming in to our Twisted Drive show tomorrow. They have been producing tracks together for a while now though they have never actually met, as Technikal is based in the UK and Rebirth in Namibia. Justin Sane interviewed both of them recently: Technikal Interview / Rebirth interview. If you want to know what the music is going to be like at Fragile then why not have a listen to these mixes from Technikal (29.4 MB) and Rebirth (38.7 MB).

All Black - The hottest colour for mascara today
"In an admission set to shake the foundations of New Zealand's tough rugby image, centre Ma'a Nonu says he wore eye makeup with his Wellington provincial team and plans to do the same with the All Blacks."

Rugby. Hell Gay sport eh?

Hurray for boobies
I love my job. Tomorrow I get to film bouncing boobies for our VJ show at Fragile on Friday. Kells is coming round to jump up and down in front of the camera for us. She's such a good girl.

Grey Lynn Live


There's some fun coming up in the run up to the Grey Lynn Park Festival on Friday 20th November 2004, thanks to our friends at Manic.

Friday 12th
Occam café hosts Trolley and the Jews Brothers starts at 8pm

Saturday 13th
Manic Mayhem at Radarz tavern 9pm features Chris Knox, Exiter, Runninghouse.
Ak Samba to play around the streets from 2pm

Sunday 14th
Graeme Brazier will be on at Radarz tavern at 2pm
Shaky Ground will perform at 4pm

Wednesday 17th
Poetry Slam v MC Battle will be on at the bowling club 9pm

Thursday 18th
Chris Knox, Beautiful Losers, Anbaric Chambers and Nik Smythe at Radarz Tavern At 8 pm

Friday 19th
Occam Café hosts Caitlin Smith’s singing heads

Sunday 21st
Fleet FM drive in film evening features 21 Locally made short films in the car park behind the Surrey Crescent Shops.