5 years since my Glastonbury Wedding
It’s Glastonbury Festival weekend in the UK, which means it’s been five years since I married Chelfyn. I'm kind of glad to be missing it this year, after seeing the aftermath of the flash flooding. But I'm very proud to say that the two freaks who were hitched on the Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury 2000 are still going strong, and loving living in New Zealand.

It was only 3 months from our first date to getting married on the main stage, but we were gazumped by our friends Liz and Craig. They hooked up around the same time as us, but married a few weeks earlier in top secret. They went to the Bristol registry office one lunchtime, and dragged two people in off the street to witness. None of us knew of the happy event, until they got back from their lunch-break slightly tipsy. 5 years on they are also still married, living in Sydney and about to have their first baby. I am really happy for them and their new bump, but Chelfyn and I will be staying child-free. Some people are just not meant to breed.

I’m just getting into my stride in life, and children complicate things. They are expensive, demanding, and frequently infuriating. I know they can be loveable, generally when they aren’t sticky. Which isn't often. Children also generate copious amounts of snot and other unmentionables, that spot weld to every surface. Then they turn into terrifying teenagers. Being a parent is positively masochistic, two cats are enough for me. The British upper classes had the best way. They got a nanny in at birth and then sent the snot-gobblers off to boarding school as soon as they could walk. Unfortunately this system has bred a succession of spanking mad Tory MPs. The fear of that is enough to put anyone off breeding.

But marriage is lush. I didn't really see the point until hooking up with Chelfyn. Which is slang in an area of London for scoring pot - something he is immensely proud of. I love the fact that New Zealand is one of the first places in the world to allow civil unions, where same sex couples can show their committment publicly. Whatever Pimp Tamaki and the Cult of Density might say, it shows New Zealand is a progressive nation rather than one stuck in the dark ages.