February Releases on TMet Recordings
We've had a flurry of new releases on TMet Recordings this month. We're delighted to bring you two more gorgeous Chillout tracks from Wellington based Echo:

These Days are Meant for Crying is about the joys of sadness and the misery of good fortune. The title's kinda ironic as the music's on the uplifting side of the spectrum. Basically to sum it up, it's about being able to wear your heart on your sleeve and being proud of it as humans are emotional creatures, which keeps us unique and animated.

In the Closing Hour is about not being able to let go and move on, be it relationships, death, the end of something good etc. The lyrics says it all..."In the closing hour, she came to me, and gave me flowers from the dead, to keep me alive instead".

We've added some young blood with two new additions to the TMet Producer crew. Discovered by our A&R guy Justin Sane, Focus is a young Christchurch based producer. One of the Xchurch hard dance Nitrate and Rinsed crews, he has displayed an impressive range for someone who is only 17. We expect big things from this young man.

Happily Ever After is the debut release from young Focus. An uplifting slice of engrossing psytrance, the percussion echoes off into a pristine space as solid bass drives the track ever onwards. It clocks in at an epic 10 minutes and includes a great left-turn as it drops into a deep drum & bass tinged fat bass breakdown in the middle. We love it when the doof doof go mwaaarp instead.

Losing Senses was a hard one to categorise. We don't currently have a psychedelic techno section, so until we do, this track will live in Hard Dance. So, there you have it. Psychedelic Techno. We love it!

Liquid is a slightly psychedelic uplifting trance from Christchurch prodigy Focus. A smooth, subtle trance groover to fit it's name, Liquid is perfect for outdoors and will put a smile on yer face.

Another young Kiwi still in his teens, Dunedin based H.U.M.N. is probably one of the most Southern dance producers in the world!

This debut release from H.U.M.N is a genre busting gem. Absolute Zero is reminiscent of Italian Techno/Trance, but with a chilling tension and an Electro edge. This is sure to bring a refreshing element to any set.

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The Mistress gets pierced up



The Mistress had a Labrette piercing during this morning's breakfast show, thanks to the lovely Aaron and Chris from Pierce Watt in West Auckland. We'll be posting a blogvid of it this week. Chris has just got back from a big international piercing trip, leaving bejewelled holes in some very strange places. He once pierced the toe of a Kiwi prison guard but the weidest has to have been a Maori lady's forehead.

Pierce Watt: 182 West Coast Road, Glen Eden, Waitakere City.
09 813 0860 / wattnz@hotmail.com

Hamilton - more Twisted than you'd expect!



Exciting news. As well as Auckland 107.7FM, and the online stream Twisted Radio is now broadcasting on Hamilton 107.5FM. Hamilton is a farming town an hour and a half south of Auckland. It seems a sleepy old place with it's meandering river, but don't be deceived. For this is the town that produced Richard O'Brien of the Rocky Horror show fame. With a statue of Riff Riff in the in the town centre it's definitely a twisted kind of place.

Traditional Thai Massage
There was a photo of me in the Body & Soul Section of the Sunday Star Times today. A snap taken while I was being bent back into shape by the lovely Siriyada at the Thai Massage Clinic on Croyden Rd, West Auckland (09 827 7465). Years of violin as a child followed by hardcore PC use has made the centre of my back seize up. If I try and sit at a computer for more than an hour now, I get shooting pains in my mouse arm. Classic RSI.

I've tried a Chiropracter but what has worked wonders is chucking away my office chair (I now work on a yoga mat), and a fortnightly Thai massage. It's like having someone do yoga with you. Ever knot is kneaded (sometimes by Siri's knees) and you are literally stretched back into shape. By the end of a blissful hour and a half I am walking tall and feeling loose limbed. Siri even does full spa treatments with a sit in steamer using traditional Thail oils, lotions and herbs. As Karen Holdom says she really does have magic hands. But remember boys - Siri is a qualified massage therapist, so don't bother asking for 'extras'.

Can you pass The Insanity Test?
Another wonderful link from Skrufff-e.

[1] Turn on the Speakers and allow the page to load fully
[2] Stare at the Picture without laughing for 60 seconds
[3] If you start laughing consider yourself legally insane

Naturellement - I am insane.

Wise words
A friend is someone who will help you move. A truly good friend will help you move a body.

Top 10 Indie Releases - January 2005

1 Slow-Burning, Katchafire
2 LOOP Select 006: Kono, Various
3 Home Land & Sea, TrinityRoots
4 Riddim Wise, Shapeshifter
5 Southern Lights, SJD
6 True, TrinityRoots
7 Breed The Pain, 8 Foot Sativa
8 Always And For Real, Adeaze
9 Revival, Katchafire
10 From Ape To Angel, Pitch Black

From Indies.co.nz

Time Slice Matrix
Isn't it weird how you can sometimes miss the obvious? I modelled for a shoot years ago for Real World Media using Time Slice photography, invented by a guy called Tim MacMillan. It was directed by Michael Coulson at the Real World Studios, near Bath.

The camera was a large hoop through which we posed while it took 360 degree pictures, which when played allowed you to move through the image and see it from every angle. I saw some amazing Time Slice test shots of people diving into a pool which were like living Hockney art.

It was only today that I realised that this was the birth of the technology that allowed those scenes from the Matrix. The ones that have been spoofed ad finitum.

RIP Malcom Hardee
Sad news. Funnyman Malcom Hardee drowned in the Thames in January. He was the compere for the Cabaret Marquee at Glastonbury Festival, and with Jools Holland was a stalwart of the Theatre and Circus backstage Green Room.

Malcom provided the highlights for many of my Glastonburys, as we had an annual renewable deal. He bought me cocktails, and I fetched him his. One year on acid he painted his genitals green on stage. Renowned for his nude antics and filthy sense of humour he'll be sorely missed.

Canny Kiwis Sell Whakatane Sunshine
Canny Kiwis in East Coast surf town Whakatane, have so much sunshine they are canning and selling it for $2.50 a can. According to the Herald, Whakatane Sunshine has been on sale for more than 20 years.

"Directions on the label advise: "For best results, open can with care - preferably in a confined space. The concentrated sunshine emitted will saturate pores, revitalise and bring back fond memories of sun-filled days in Whakatane.
There's a caution: Wear sunglasses when opening."

Lothlorien Music Festival
If you're looking for somewhere a little unusual to party this summer, then how about a music festival from the Lothlorien elves. Top tunes in a magical place where they make divine Feijoa bubbly.

Liquid Underground - Saturday Feb 12 & 26 @ The Viper Club, Auckland


Auckland's new melodic drum'n bass experience kicks off on Feb. 12 with a fresh'n fruity line up of soulful stalwarts to find the groove in these days of darkness . . . which means rolling liquid funk flowing in your direction - all the funk you could ask for at one low price of um . . . nothing . . .

Liquid lovers are sure to leave smiling as only the sexiest of vibes and meaningful moments of drum'n bass will be recreated in the exclusive and refurbished surrounds of the viper club . . . because it's all class and it's pure spunk – it's liquid funk – so prepare to look good and move right. This is the Liquid Underground at it's finest! - Free Entry!

Raw Supastar TV chick
We had a heap of fun at the studios on Saturday making a showreel for the lovely Nik Barrett. After two years of producing her Raw Supastar DJs radio show, Nik is hoping to make the move into music TV hence the showreel. She came up with a brilliant idea of intervewing herself so created a faux popstar to play. She had the crew cracking up with her impression of a Aussie poptart Kirsty Bench from hot young band 'Tan in a Can'. Off camera you can see that her real interviewee was my beloved Badger, who used to be bigger than me.

Nik Barrett - Raw Supastar Kiwi TV chick

Kirsty Bench from Tan in a Can

A trick of the light perhaps?
You know someone is famous when they make it into Popbitch, that delicious Friday fix of celebrity tit bits.They are generally gleaned from the groupies of the glamour scene, so you find out all sorts of unusual things.

Chelfyn knew Derren Brown the Illusionist from when he lived in Bristol. Thanks to the wonders of net gossip he also now knows that Derren is a natural ginger.

The New Zealand Dance Chart - JANUARY 05
1. Chemical Brothers - Galvanize (Virgin)
2. Soulwax - E Talking (BMG)
3. Soul Central - Strings of Life (Defected)
4. Roni Size - No More (Full Cycle)
5. Mylo - Destroy Rock & Roll (Breastfed)
6. Deep Dish - Flashdance (Positiva)
7. Dillinja -Thugged Out Bitch (Valve)
8. Slam - This World (Soma)
9. Chab - Closer to Me (Saw)
10. Evil Nine - Crooked (Marine Parade)

The Charge New Zealand dance chart is compiled from 12” sales through independent record stores, radio station play on participating dance-music stations and club play from a broad cross-section of DJ’s around the country. A weekly radio broadcast featuring the official top 10 is played weekly on the following NZ radio stations:

National: George 96.8 (Radio broadcast in Auckland, Hamilton, Tauranga, Ohakune, Wellington, Christchurch, Dunedin & Queenstown, PLUS Internet stream and Sky Digital)

Local: Auckland, Up 107.3 (FM & internet stream), Julia 107.5 (FM & internet stream), Fleet 88.3 (FM), Twisted 107.7 (FM & Internet stream) - Wellington, Firm 107 (FM & Internet stream), Munt 88.5 (FM) - Christchurch, Pulzar 88.7 (FM & Internet stream), Mofo 107.4 (FM) - Tauranga, Blowhole 96.7 (FM) - New Pymouth, The Most 92.3 (FM) - Palmerston North, Control 99.4 (FM) - Nelson/Blenheim/Motueka, Fresh 95.4 (FM) - Dunedin, Radio One 91.0 (FM & Internet stream) - Queenstown, The Studio 96.8 (FM), -Invercargil, Aural 107.3 (FM)

New TMet Release: The Oneness of Brian Tamaki & Beelzebub

The satirical song that has had kicked off a storm in New Zealand. The Oneness of Brian Tamaki & Beelzebub was first discovered by Mistress Dirtbag, aired on her breakfast shows on Twisted radio, and due to popular demand we have released it on TMet Recordings. A full preview of the track is available to download for free and you can buy a high quality mp3 of it for only $NZ3.

For those of you following the story Anon is due in the Twisted studios on February 9th for a live interview on the Resurrection Breakfast. I've set up a forum at Twisted where you can send anon your questions or you can MSN them in live during the February 9th show. Just use studio@twisted.co.nz to chat to the Twisted studio.

Listen to an interview with Anon the artist behind The Oneness of Brian Tamaki and Beelzebub (3.5 MB).

Naked Radio
Ah the joy of remote radio. Now we have faster bandwidth we can log in to Twisted from home, and do a live radio show from the TMet studios. Chelfyn and I are covering the Resurrection Breakfasts for the Mistress all week, while she browns her boobs at the beach.

I did a naked weather report having rolled straight out of bed, and now I'm boogying in my bikini. I've also finally got a radio in the living room, so spent yesterday morning bleating in the studio then running up the house to hear myself coming out on the airwaves. Sad but true.

So now we have Twisted Studio 1 on K'Rd, Twisted Studio 2 for the Twisted crew with Twisted Studio 3 in Waitakere City. Next up will be Twisted Hamilton, watch this space...