Chelfyn & MsB on SKY TV


It’s Murphys law that when you are about to do a TV appearance, spots will appear overnight - guaranteed. Luckily they were dealt quickly and efficiently by the gorgeous Bernie McKay, makeup artist at SKY TV. She’s been polishing and painting people for many years, and has a visitors book with signatures from the likes of Alan Alda (from MASH) and a full page cartoon from Rolf Harris. Her precious book went missing for a number of years, and to her joy was found down the back of a drawer when they moved the Green Room.



As we waited for the other guests it started to dawn on me, that maybe it was just Chelfyn & myself for the whole half hour show. I was expecting them to have someone else in from one of the Kiwi ISPs, but when we got to the set there were only two chairs opposite Larry Williams. So I took a deep breath and prayed that we’d done enough research to pass ourselves off as ‘technical gurus.’



Williams Upfront is a different format to Campbell Live. It’s more like talk radio with pictures with live polls and people calling in questions. Larry is a good host who runs through the topics segment by segment and the half hour flew by while we chatted about broadband, blackberrys, wifi & tele-working.



Of course Chelfyn’s mohawk got a mention at the end. At this rate it’s going to be more fayyymous than we are . There were a couple of funny moments when I confessed to having run KnowledgeBoard in my pyjamas with the odd glass of Chardonnay, and Chelfyn fessed up to having been a cheeky teenage hacker.



After his baptism of fire last week with John Campbell, Chelfyn is now enjoying this TV lark. A lot of shows are pre-recorded so if you fluff up too badly they can edit it, but with live TV it’s going out real time. The problem with some guests on live shows is that they can stutter or freeze. The trouble with Chelfyn and I is shutting us up. It was a lot of fun and they said they’d have us back next season.

You can catch a repeat of the Williams Upfront with the Mohawk Media freaks on Sun 02 Oct 2005 21:30PM, on SKY News Aus NZ.

N.B. A reader has kindly pointed out that my earlier reference to 'the late' Alan Alda is in fact incorrect and that his is in fact still 'early'. My apologies to Mr Alda and his fans. He is well and has just published his first round of memoirs "Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: and Other Things I've Learned".

MsBehaviour & Chelfyn on Williams Upfront, SKY TV



Following Chelfyn's Campbell Live slot, word has got out about the two geeky Fudged up freaks. Now we've both been booked as talking netheads on this weeks Williams Upfront show on SKY TV. It goes out live this Thursday on the SKY News channel from 8.00 p.m., and will broadcast in Australia next week. The show is about the current state of play of NZ IT, technology and communications especially New Zealand's lack of decent broadband penetration.

One of the things we're going to touch on is 3G, and I had my first experience with it today. We went down to the Vodafone headquarters at the Viaduct, to have a demo of the groovy new 3G functions like mobile TV and Video Calling. Video Calling is different from Video Messaging in that you can have video conversations in real time.

Vodafone has kindly lent us a Nokia 6680 to play with. I like the way it has two cameras, and the quality is excellent for the size of the screen. We've already watched an episode of Bro Town, a trailer for the new 24 series of 'mobisodes' (episodes made especially for watching on mobiles) and some groovy music videos. I'm going to write a proper review of it over the weekend, but I'm impressed so far with the potential of 3G and I firmly believe that wireless is the future.

For more tune in to http://www.williamsupfront.co.nz and watch us live on Thursday.

Behind the scenes at Campbell Live



We got to the TV3 studios earlier about 6.15 pm, so that we had plenty of time to spare and get ready for Campbell Live at 7 pm. Chelfyn was whisked straight into makeup where he was buffed by a delightful young man called Carlton. It's like a mini-salon in there full of potions, lotions, powder and paint, with three chairs for the glamourisation process. Next to Chelfyn in a cape was Clint Brown, the TV3 sports presenter so everyone was quiet, respecting his quiet time before going on air.

After he left we all got chatty and I found out the TV3 makeup secrets. They use Shiseido on the guys and Mac on the girls, to make them look so lovely and glossy. It always makes me laugh when people gush about glamorous models and TV stars. If you saw the amount of slap they have on in daylight, they'd look more like pantomime dames.

After makeup we met John Campbell and the other Campbell Live guest, former prime minister Mike Moore who was in to talk about MMP and the elections. It's funny who you end up rubbing shoulders with in TVland, and Chelfyn was a bit thrown to be on after an ex-Prime Minister, who was also head of the World Trade Organisation. Mike Moore was a joy to meet, as he's cut from the same cloth as many great Kiwis, he's highly intelligent, down to earth and hugely insightful about world issues.

We were all looked after by the lovely Hannah, who whisked Chelfyn off to get miked up after the first break. While I sat in the control room, and watched Chelfyn & CLive joke around on set through the huge plate glass window. The TV3 studios are hardly glamorous (TV never really is), but the control room is completely spaceage, with a massive floor to ceiling projection screen showing all the camera feeds. The studio and set looked comfortable to work in as some sets are very brightly lit which can make you squint unattractively. It was a very relaxed atmosphere for a live TV show, and much more laid back than I remember the BBC being.



I was so proud watching Chelfyn go out live on national television to over 350,000 people, on password protection and internet security. He had been really nervous beforehand and had butterflys all week, but he knew his stuff and didn't freeze or gabble. John Campbell is a brilliant presenter. He makes you feel that you're the most interesting person he's ever met, which is a real gift. He's a genuinely lovely man who is passionate about his job and getting the best from people.



He seemed fascinated by Chelfyn and gave us a huge plug for TMet Recordings and Mohawk Media bless him. The producers also really liked Chelfyn and said they'll have him back again. They loved his Fudge orange mohawk so much that they gave it a camera all of its own. It's not often they shoot guest's heads from behind!

Also it's official - I now have have a huge crush on Carly Kirkwood from Nightline. She's LUSH!

Chelfyn on Campbell live, Tuesday 20th September, 7pm, TV3

Watch out for Chelfyn's orange mohawk on Campbell Live tomorrow night, on TV3. He's speaking to John Campbell about password protection and internet security. Being a current affairs show content can change at the last minute, and the story has already been bumped by the Prime Minster once from a slot last week.

He's never done live TV before and is a bit nervous, but he is used to live radio with all its technical hitches. CLive as he's known in our household (well it does say it at the bottom of the screen) is one of the best interviewers I've ever seen. John Campbell's a natural in front of the camera and makes people feel at ease, though he's also a tenacious journalist who Helen Clark once called a 'little creep.'

I'm going to head into the TV3 studios with Chelfyn, as I love seeing behind the scenes, and I hope I get to hear him say his Bro Town catch phrase. All together now...

"Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrvvvvvellllous!"

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Justin Sane & Taz sign debut track 'Fragile' to UK label


Here's some great news from Justin Sane our TMet Recordings, A&R guy and promo partner Taz: "Its been a long time coming, but finally our debut track 'Fragile' was signed this morning by UK hard dance record label 'Housewifes Choice' and is scheduled for Worldwide release as HWC010 (Gold Edition) in the future - no idea of actual dates yet!

Housewives Choice is a rapidly rising hard dance label in the UK which aims to represent the true underground vibe of the Hard Dance scene along with its UK based club, Housewives Choice in Leeds. Their releases are available as both vinyl and MP3 (such as on Tidydigital.com) and their most recent release 'In My House' was snapped up on Nukleuz's Hardhouse Anthems Vol.6. HWC also recently debuted in Ibiza with their weekly Sunday evening night at 'The Orange Corner' on San Antonio's beach promenade.

Since our original version last February, we managed to include the talents of UK hard dance vocalist Jennie Rix (Tidy Trax/HTUK) and following our new signing a remix has been commissioned and currently underway by UK DJ/Producers Lox (Tidy Trax/HWC) & Leigh Green (Distructiv/HWC) who will no doubt toughen it up for the harder edged fans out there!

So both myself and Taz are ecstatic and no doubt will be getting rotten drunk to celebrate, or something like that, but it is a school night after all so might have to wait until Squeeze instead! It probably doesn't mean a great deal to everyone else, but we're well happy and have always both wanted something signed to a UK record label.

If anyone wants to hear the instrumental version of the original, it features on my old promo mix 'Il Futuro' as the very first track, since then we've made a few minor changes (which you probably won't notice) as well as added the vocal and will be pushing the finished version through all of our sets/radio show soon!"

Well done boys!!

Kiwi or USA - your vote counts on Saturday


Saturday is election day. The day when New Zealand decides if they are going to grab National paltry tax cut bribes or vote with their social conscience. There's been a great debate on NZ Rave on Why Vote for National and here's what I had to say:

Chelfyn and I are of the generation known as Thatchers children and watched her rabid right wing policies knock the stuffing out of the social fabric of the UK. My Mum has been a nurse since the 50s and has watched the health service become more and more privatised, to the point that management outnumber nurses in some hospitals and the head of her local health is an ex tank commander brought in from the army. She's worked in nursing homes where old people are commodoties and are forced to sell their homes to pay for their care.

Please believe me when I say this election is a key point in our history as a nation. If we choose wrongly now we may lose everything that makes New Zealand such a great country. The world is changing fast and we need safe experienced hands to steer the way. Not some banker who has zero experience outside economic theories and finance. I'm genuinely scared at the prospect of what this little pocket of paradise will become if Brash gets his hands on it.

Lets take a real look at the coutry that Brash wants us to ape - the good old USA of A. This is from a conversation I had with a friend from New Orleans this week:

"i've heard so many people saying "why cant these poor black people just learn to do something better" as if every poor person who studies can be a ceo, and noone would be poor. meanwhile 80% of america makes close to $5 an hour, and has no access to healthcare. it saddens me to know there are people there who would want to "privatize" everything, and i really hope that doesnt happen.. it's really devastating what the corporations have acheived over here.. they're dismantling everything that protects the individual or the environment. there are so many people trying to find work, a friend of mine (designer) looked for a year and a half and finally found a miserable hourly job with no benefits (which means no healthcare at all in the US of course). my friend had to go to the ER for his gall bladder.. he was in the hospital 2 nights, and it was $5500. there was no surgery in that price either.. just sitting there unattended with an IV, that was actually put in wrong and made his hand tingle when he played drums for 3 months..and then he nearly lost his job because of missing 2 days of work... its like, it's ridiculously expensive AND negligent. you know it's just so amazing.. if i were to have all the success and money in the world, what i would want to do is move to a place like Waitakere"

A country is not a company. People are not numbers. The best things in life aren't things.

Yoji Biomehanika @ Kiss Me Hard, Auckland
Well as I predicted the Yoji Biomehanika gig in Auckland went right off. I've not see the kids get this excited about a gig for ages. The NZ Ravers were literally counting down the sleeps, for the previous two weeks.

The night started rather dramatically, when the amp in the DJ booth blew up most spectacularly. In a shower of sparks, white smoke and loud pops during Savant's warmup set. Luckily this was just as the club was opening. The Cynergy crew quickly moved everyone upstairs to Bacios, where they kicked off the party. Meanwhile CJ got on his cellphone, and within 30 minutes a replacement rig from SLE arrived and was rigged within the hour. That's the sign of real professionals, when they can pull replacement gear out of thin air at 10 p.m. on a Thursday.

By the time Delegate came on everyone had poured back downstairs to Kiss, the atmosphere becoming more and electric as people waited for the arrival of Yoji Biomehanika. Justin Sane & Kells were stood by the door, and and kept winding people up by yelling "Yoji's here!" to loud groans each time someone else walked in.

Kells & Justin Sane - wind up merchants.


Pic: Split @ NZ Rave.

Finally Yoji Biomehanika himself arrived, with a cascade of blonde dreadlocks and blonde goatee. His crazy contacts and massive false eyelashes hid behind yellow cybershades. A silver vest finishing off his Cyberstyling. A roar went up as he entered Kiss and he was ringed with adoring fans, cameras in hand by the time he reached the decks.

Yoji @ Kiss.


Pic: Wild @ NZRave.

Yoji's set was spot on for a Thursday night, not too hard and full of fun touches. Like his bootleg of 'Video Killed the Radio Star', my tune of the night being a child of the 80s. I was lucky enough to be boogying in the DJ booth at the time, so I had a Yoji-eye view of the crowd's reaction. He has so much style he can get away with anything. Like Sandstorm which would have cleared the floor if it had been dropped by anyone but Yoji.

MsB having a boogy behind Yoji.


Pic: Bob @ Biggie

Meanwhile the Mohawk boys were having fun at the VJ station. Feeding footage from cameras on Yoji to the two big screens, and overlaying them with funky graphics.

Mohawk Media VJs - MsBehaviour, Chelfyn and Gargoyle.


Pic: Bob @ Biggie

Yoji was a joy to film. He knew where the cameras were and was played right up to them. He was almost licking the camera at one point. We recorded the VJ show output and have some awesome footgage of Yoji in action. He's brilliant at amping a crowd up which you can see in this quick clip I shot:

Yoji Biomehanika @ Kiss, Auckland [1.1MB]


Click on the image above to play video.

I met Yoji briefly after his set and he said he wants to see what we filmed. So once we've edited it down I'll see if we can clear it with him to publish. Here's another clip of Yoji leaving the club before being whisked off to the airport for his next gig in Australia.


Yoji has left the building [1.2MB]


Click on the image above to play video.

Yoji Biomehanika is not only a great showman, he's very funny. When he heard about the amplifier blowing up at the start of the night he quipped: "It heard I was coming and it got scared!" He's also great with an audience and these kids really love him. I had a long chat with Melissa his no 1 Kiwi fan. She can tell what year he released all his tracks and even what hairstyle he had then.

Melissa from Waiheke, New Zealand - Yoji's No.1 Kiwi fan.


Pic: Bob @ Biggie

Once Yoji had left a few people drifted off to try and grab some sleep before work, but a fair few stayed. Some of the hard core stayed right to the end before going to work without without any sleep. I also dare say a fair few sickies were pulled, judging by the nuimber of people posting from net cafes at 6 a.m., in the Yoji aftermath forum on NZ Rave.


Chelfyn with 5k3LLy.


Pic: Wild @ NZRave.

Pics thanks to Bob @ Biggie, Split & Wild @ NZRave.
For the full sets visit: Biggie Set 1 / Biggie Set 1 / NZ Rave Set 1 / NZ Rave Set 2.

DV8 - The Movie

We've finished the final edit of footage shot at the recent DV8 gig in Auckland, with DJ's Bennor, Savant, The Hardstyle Terror crew and High Dosage (Live). Just click on the link below to watch DV8 - The Movie at our Mohawk Media site.

View DV8 The Movie. [30 MB]

We had a great time VJIng The Studio that night. The club was packed with up for it kids from all over Asia and a few Pakeha going off at the front. They were the friendliest, smiliest crowd I've seen in a long time, and definitely the coolest dressed. I've never seen so many gorgeous girls in one club at one time! Many of them were celebrating the end of their exams so you can imagine the atmosphere. For info on DV8 check out www.cynergy.co.nz

Our next VJ gig is this Thursday for Yoji Biomehanika at Kiss. We're really excited about it. Being a Uber Superstar DJ, Yoji Biomehanika normally plays to crowds of 40,000 people. It will probably be the smallest gig he's been in a while, and it's guaranteed to go right off. People have taken Friday off work and counting down the sleeps. Watch this space for video clips...

Nationmaster Statistics: Unpaid diplomatic parking fines

This is a wonderful site of worldwide statistics. I'm proud to say that New Zealand is top of the pops for unpaid diplomatic parking fines - with 0 unpaid fines. We are also the country with the highest cannabis use and the lowest per capita count of murders with fireams.

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Attitude is Everything

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Podcast: The TMet Show 2/9/05
Another podcast of Homegrown Kiwi dance tunes from TMet Recordings, New Zealand's dance download label. Followed by a 2 hour mix from DJ Chelfyn. This week he brings you 'The God Special' (playlists below)

The TMet Show on Twisted Radio - Friday 2nd September.mp3 [70 MB]

TMet Recordings Playlist:
Sid in the Machine - Xorphan (Due out Sept 05)
I Have a Dream - Ryan Tregurtha
The Evil Plans of George W Bush IIIrd - Chelfyn
In the Closing Hour - Echo
For the love of Ike - Nub
Capture - Liquid Underground
Liquid - Focus

Chelfyn Playlist:
http://www.twisted.co.nz/forums/viewtopic.php?t=6813

New Orleans Nightmare

I checked in with Eric and Amber today, friends from New Orleans. Thankfully they missed Katrina being in DC, but Eric's guitars and Amber's art didn't. Having lost everything myself once in a fire I know how hard it is. But the best things in life aren't things and thankfully they are both safe and well. You can check out Eric's music at www.emptyself.com.

My heart especially goes out goes out to the poor people of Biloxi, who were left trapped there to take the brunt of the hurricane. Unlike the Tsunami victims they had warning, but weren't deemed important enough to evacuate. The national guardsmen who normally protect them are fighting for oil in Iraq, and many couldn't afford to get out as they had no transport. The worst thing is Bush's Environ-Mental policies have directly made the damage worse. As Sidney Blumenthal writes, No-one can say they didn't see it coming...

New Zealand is already feeling the squeeze of high petrol prices. Having lived in the UK for most of my life I'm already used to idea that 'Small = Beautiful & Cheap. Kiwis however have a big thing for V8 engines and Remuera Tractors (SUVs). There's even an advert on TV with a guy boasting about his THREE cars. He must have a minute penis, but that's besides the point. We are going to have to give up the 'right' to drive where-ever we want, when-ever we want in enormous and often empty gas guzzlers.

We're lucky to have a pretty good train system in Auckland and I love catching the train into town. Working from studios at home means I miss out on people watching. There are some fantastic characters on the Waitakere line, like the punk with the 10 inch mohawk (The Cool Mo Bro) and the ticket collector with Hollywood cheekbones (Marble Man).

I love the space age Britomart, and walking up Auckland's Queen Street, the biggest street in the biggest PolynAsian city in the world. Past gangling gangs of schoolboys built like Jonah Lomu, and cute little Japanese girls in miniskirts & Uggs. Past the guy who will move for silver and dance for gold. Past a rainbow of faces from faraway places, a sun-soaked cultural smorgasbord.

I'd miss all that if I was stuck in a car. Plus I get to walk up a hill - which is great for my arse.