How to get rid of telemarketers

Working from a home studio has many advantages. My commute is incredibly short in the morning and I can wear a bikini to work in the summer. I can also choose whether Mohawk Manor is a place of work or play when I telemarketer calls.

If they ask to speak to someone with a corporate sounding job title then I tell them that this is a residential line. If they ask to speak to the homeowner then I tell them that this is a business line. The result is that you are immediately moved from their list, or scramble the database if another department calls later. If the call is about a survey then I tell them that this is our studio line and we need it free to take calls from listeners.

I loathe phones. I detest their shrill interruptions into my peaceful day and prefer to book times for calls first by email. I am not of the generation that is programmed to drop everything to answer a ringing phone. I plan my time carefully and if I'm in flow time on work then your call will just have to wait.

If you want to sell me something then stop using poor cubicle rats in call centres to read me a one-size-fits-all script in the vain hope that I may want, need or can afford what you are peddling. For here's one cast iron guarantee - if you ever get to me on a sales call then you will never get my money.